Brain Damage from Long-Term Narcissistic Abuse Post-Divorce?

 Posted on November 21, 2024 in Divorcing a Narcissist

Every person who has ever been married to – and divorced – a narcissist knows that it can be a long, hard road to "recovery." To add insult to injury, research has found that constantly living with fear and anxiety caused by narcissistic abuse can keep cortisol levels unnaturally high, negatively impacting the brain.

It is clear that repeated emotional trauma can lead to PTSD and C-PTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Repeated emotional "injuries" can also shrink the hippocampus while enlarging the amygdala. The hippocampus is responsible for learning and memory while the amygdala houses "primitive" emotions, including shame, guilt, grief, and fear.

A Stanford University study found that patients with the highest baseline cortisol paired with PTSD symptoms showed the greatest decreases in the size of the hippocampus. This means the longer a person lives with a narcissistic, emotionally abusive partner, the greater the adverse brain results.

If you are married to a narcissist, you probably already know that divorce will not be an easy path. Having an experienced Fort Worth, TX divorce attorney who is highly knowledgeable in dealing with a divorce in which one partner is a narcissist can make the process much less difficult.

What is a Narcissistic Personality?

Living with a narcissist is absolutely a form of abuse; while not all narcissists are physical abusers – although many are - they specialize in emotional abuse. A narcissist requires excessive admiration, believes he or she is "special," exaggerates his or her achievements and talents, has a sense of entitlement, takes advantage of others, lacks empathy, and demonstrates arrogant behaviors.

Narcissists do not respond well to anything they see as criticism. Narcissistic spouses or partners typically engage in the following behaviors:

• Gaslights to make a victim believe his or her memories are inaccurate.
• Shames the victim, insinuating the person somehow deserved previous trauma.
• Typically remains cool and calm – even amused – when watching a visibly upset partner.
•  Blames the partner for his or her own faults and wrongdoings, i.e., blaming a partner for lying or cheating when it is actually the narcissist doing those things.  
• Excels in "circular," never-ending conversations to frustrate the victim into giving up.
• Engages in "love-bombing," which involves showering a victim with attention and affection, then switches to tearing that person down, causing a dangerous cycle of psychological abuse.  

How Does a Constant State of Anxiety and Fear Cause Changes in the Brain?

The constant state of anxiety and fear that victims of narcissists experience causes victims to react from the amygdala (also known as our reptilian brain). Not only does the amygdala control basic emotions, but it also controls life functions like heart rate and breathing. The amygdala is also responsible for our "fight or flight" reaction. Over time, the amygdala remembers what we heard, saw, and felt during every painful experience.

After years of experiencing the effects of a narcissist, something as innocuous as a photo of an ex can trigger the same emotions felt during the actual time spent with the narcissistic individual. Panic attacks and phobias are common after a toxic relationship with a narcissist has ended. The duration of the stress is almost as destructive as the level of stress.

The good news is that the hippocampus can regrow. EMDR therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), guided meditation, and aromatherapy combined with meditation have produced good results in victims of narcissistic personalities.

Contact a Fort Worth, TX Divorce Lawyer

Divorcing a narcissist is likely to be almost as difficult as being married to one, but is worth the temporary pain. A Fort Worth, TX divorce attorney who has extensive knowledge and experience dealing with narcissistic spouses can help you through this difficult time in the best way possible. Attorney J. Kevin Clark has a special focus on divorce from narcissistic spouses, along with first-hand experience regarding the stress of divorce. Contact The Law Office of J. Kevin Clark P.C. at 817-348-6723 to schedule your free consultation.